Thank you Lord!

Oye, oye, oye, oye, oye! Yup... that's right FIVE "oye"s! This last week and a half has been one heck of a doozy. All kinds of family turmoil going on since the husband left once again. Seemingly, our seven year old son was hit the hardest this time around. Just outright awful behavior at school. He was sent home early from school one day, and in the principle's office three other times. Yesterday I was actually brought to tears. I had done everything I could think of. I've prayed, lectured him, punished him, restricted him, sought his ATA instructor's help and even spanked him. Nothing. Then last night I tried one more time, asking him about the classes he doesn't have problems in first. I asked what he liked most about each of his classes, what was hard, what was easy. As I suspected, the two classes he has most of his problems in, he told me were way to easy. I reminded him as I had months ago, that because he doesn't do his best work, his teacher's don't know that it's too easy. His eyes lit up as I explained yet again that he was doing assessments and that he needs to show his teachers how smart he really is so they'll let him go up to the next class.

Today... a perfect day. No talking back, no fits, no throwing papers on to the floor, no broken pencils. He was such a happy boy today, skipping and smiling and talking all sorts. He was my Johnathan again, and it is so nice to have him back.

I didn't realize it, but the stress of having to deal with a kid that just doesn't get it, really took a toll on me. I had absolutely no creativity in me at all, he was draining me. I ate mindlessly, stuffing more stuff in my mouth, even when I knew I wasn't hungry I wanted anything sweet. Unfortunately I am now at the weight I was before I lost all my weight this last year. It so totally sucks! All those nice clothes I had bought are skin tight. Now granted, I didn't put 20 pounds on in a week, but I had planned to get back in shape, and instead went the exact opposite direction.

Also because of all the stresses, and other things going on, I have not had anytime for working on my business. This is something I placed in the Lord's hands, wanting to know if it's something I should be pursuing. All I've been hearing form him is that I already have a job. Granted it doesn't pay any money, but being mom to my kids, teacher to the kids at church, IS my job. It really kind of broke me. I feel like once again, I've started something and haven't finished it. Once again, I failed at something. But after I mourned the loss of a dream of mine, I told Him that yes, I do love my hobby, but I love my kids more. I will not sacrifice them for my dream of finding my place in that industry. While I'm not yet joyful over it, I have come to terms with it. So if I still don't get things all straightened out in the next four weeks, I'll be okay with letting that go. Maybe that's all God really wants from me. For me to put it on the alter to him.

Anywhoo... I have my plate full, and it can be really hard trying to decide what gets done that day and what doesn't. I'm just thankful that this is not my home. I'm looking forward to the other side of eternity!