Better than expected, not as well as I had hoped

That pretty much sums up my feelings about the parent teacher conference. I went in prayed up, and over analyzing all the possible angles like I always do. I shared that the reason why he was pulled out yesterday was to see the therapist, and this is what she noticed .... and gave the run down of what she had said. His teachers don't agree. They have big doubts that a lady who met with him one hour could ascertain that he's bored when he doesn't open up that easily. (Never mind the fact she's licensed and specializes in military and children.) They don't understand how he can be bored when he has work to do, and he's choosing to not do it. I tried to explain, but they just don't seem to see it the same way.

However, they did agree to try some of the things that were suggested. Extra "special" work that is a little bit harder will be given to him after he completes what is needed for that class. They will give him lined paper that is not as big as well. Even though I said several times that the therapist suggested he be tested for giftedness, and I want him tested for an IEP, we ended the meeting with "we'll try these things and see how it goes". So I don't think they're going to be testing him for an IEP. The councilor made the comment that they can't test for giftedness at this age.

So while I am thankful they are willing to try a few things to hopefully rescue him from boredom, I have a feeling I'm still going to have to fight for him to be tested. I'm just praying so hard that these extra steps that will be taken will be enough that he actually tries. If he does, they'll get to see how smart he really is. I mean even his communications teacher showed that the writing in his journal at the beginning of the year was better than his writing now. And I told her that it's because they are loosing him. He no longer feels like he needs to show them what he's capable of. If they don't reach him now, they're going to loose him to a point where he won't be reachable.

It's just that now I am living out all I had not liked about Public School when homeschooling my kids. Public school is set "this is the way we do things, the child needs to adapt". And you know, when you have twenty kids in a class, that's the way it usually has to be. But that's not the best learning environment. The best is finding where the kid is at and adapt the teaching to the child! This school is set up that first and second is grouped together, third with fourth, and fifth with sixth. This way kids are not split up entirely by age, but by academic capabilities. I love that about this school! I had just hoped that it would have carried over to being more willing to treat his needs more specifically.

And I do have to give the school credit. My oldest son struggles so very much with reading, grammar and spelling. That school is doing all it can to help him. He's on an IEP and I really do feel he's in good hands. Isn't it ironic how it's the smart kids that get left behind? The therapist told me something yesterday that will stick with me forever. She said 40% of drop-outs are gifted. 40%. It reminds me of my husband, who graduated only thanks to summer school. He ditched all the time, never really tried. Once he got out of high school and actually applied himself, he's graduated at the top of every single school the Marine Corps and Army sent him to. His mom tells stories about when he was in the second grade, everything just went south from there, all because the system failed him. I'm not willing to let that happen to my son. I'm just not.

Anyhow... on to an entirely different topic. I got an early birthday present today. I'm so spoiled! I got a new camera, and I absolutely love it! It's a Canon Power Shot, and I've been playing around with it today. It's going to take me a while to learn all of it's features. I am so anxious for Spring to hurry up and show its self. I can't wait to go on a photo safari and give my hand a try at getting some pretty pics. I told my kids that their gift to me will have to be patience while mommy follows them around taking pics. My girls however LOVE to have their pictures taken, so this might backfire on me! lol

Update

Well, today's visit with the therapist went well. I was starting to waiver in my determination to get him tested, and she just helped me see how important it is to push that issue. The way she said it is that Johnathan is bored. (I knew that.) But he had been able to handle his emotions decently until his dad left. That extra amount of emotions was more than he knows how to handle. So rather than acting out at home regarding his dad leaving, he's coping with his father's absence, but not coping with the boredom at school.

Now the big struggle is to see if I can get his teachers to see it. She suggested that I approach them, not as a parent who is emotionally invested in having my son labeled as gifted, but as a parent who is concerned about his behavioral problems, and if giving him more challenging work is what he needs, then that's what we need to pursue. She also said that kids that are gifted often are perfectionists as well. And that would explain his outbursts in PE. He doesn't know how to handle not being so good at the physical aspects, and that's something we'll have to work on.

So, I'm just going to be praying for God to give me wisdom, and a way with words that will disarm the teachers and to get the need across without insulting anyone. I want to thank those who have left helping comments and words of encouragement. They've helped me more than you know!

Stressed...

That is the single word that describes me most right now. I know as a Christian I'm not supposed to be stressed. I know that Christ is the source of all my needs, this is the only hell I'll ever have to live through. But it doesn't seem to matter right now. I am stressed, and I can not wait till the kids' bed time.

Johnathan had yet another not so great day at school. It was written in his notebook that he would not do the worksheet. He was told that he would miss recess, he didn't do it, so they sent him to the principle's office. No mention of him being disruptive, no breaking pencils, just sitting not doing his work. So I asked him why he was sent to the principles office. Was he talking back? Was he making noise? He said no, that he just didn't want to do his work.

Now, I know I am so very, very emotionally tied up in this. I totally know I am capable of not seeing this without clouded vision, but it just seems that he's being sent to the principles office for EVERYTHING! Why not just send all that work home with him for him to do? If they want going to the principles office to be the master of all punishments, shouldn't it be reserved for when he's actually doing something that deserves it? I'm just so frustrated.

I think the teacher is tired, I certainly don't blame her. I'm tired too! But I don't think this is helping. Good news is we finally have an appointment with a councilor tomorrow. Even better is that it's a Christian organization. So we'll see how it goes. I'm not sure what to expect, as I've never gone through this before. Though I doubt it, I'm hoping the six free sessions we do get will be enough. There's no possible way we could pay for him to continue. We're a family of six living off of a Sgt.'s Salary. It just isn't gonna happen.

Drastic Measures

I can't believe I did it, but I did. Whenever Caitlin gets her hair brushed, she always cries and complains over the smallest little tug. "It hurts!" she'll yell out, even before I hit the tangles! Though it's down right cold today, it has been getting warmer, so I asked if she wanted it cut. "YES!" was her enthusiastic response. Boy... here's hoping that Daddy takes the news well.

Before:


After:


All those beautiful locks are all gone. It's not the first time we've done this. A little more than a year ago we had done the same thing. Her hair grows pretty quickly.

As to other matters, I'm sorry to say Johnathan most certainly did not have a good day Friday. In his notebook one teacher explained some of his actions and then followed it with an "I don't know what to do". I so join her in that statement. I think we're all tired and feeling worn out of fighting with this boy.

Anyhow, we didn't get home from my Children's ministry meeting last night till 10. I was so hoping the kids would sleep in, but nope, bright and early, just before seven I was being woke up. So I'm a bit tired today. I'm trying so hard to not be a grump. As for our day, I've gotta clean up some things, get ready for tomorrow and I have a scrapbook layout that's coming along nicely.

Looking Up

Well, finally things are starting to look up! Kirsten is nearly back to normal, and by the grace of God no one else in the family got sick with it. As anyone with a family knows it seems that sickness always gets passed around. It's the one thing that kids will share without having to be told!

Johnathan has had a good week at school. I think it's partially thanks to his Taekwando instructor, who is fabulous, and partially because of the new "Extreme Work". Here I was worried that he would want to do it. Nope... every day I've given him the option to do it or not, he always says no! So now I'm wondering what I'll be doing with the $30 worth of books I bought for him. I'm thinking they'll get done during the summer. :)

I am afraid however that my relationship with his teachers has been damanged. One in particular, she voiced her concern about me pulling him out of school having a negative affect on him socially. She's always been so plesent before, she'd smile and say hi, so very friendly. But the last three times I've seen her this week, that has not been the case. Now granted she very well could have been preoccupied with other things going on, but I don't know. I do love his teachers, I mean, I'll be the first to admit, Johnathan can be one stubborn boy, he hasn't been very nice to them. But he is my son, and I have to fight for him to get what he needs. If his needs are not seen to now, it's only going to lead to bigger problems in the future.

I have Parent Teacher conferences on Thursday. I plan on bringing up the fact that according to his progress report he's mastered near everything. A couple of those he hasn't, he did have mastered for his first testing before the school year. I mean really, how does a kid forget how to read three letter words? There's something going on there. If they refuse to move him up a level I want to present them a written formal request for an IEP. The thing is I'm not sure what exactly I should request. Do I simply ask for an IEP? Or do I ask that he be tested? And then tested for what? I do know that Kansas uses the term IEP for all sorts of individualized stuff, it doesn't have to be that they're slow, they use that termonology for those that are advanced as well.

Anyhow, I'm just thankful that he's starting to straighten up. Here's hoping it continues and he's gotten all this nonsense out of his system!

Deep Breath...

I am breathing a little easier this morning. I headed to the school early this morning, with my boys in tow. My poor daughter still has a 100* temp while Tylenol is in her system. She wanted to go to school (she's striving for perfect attendance), but I kept her home. I'm positive if she went in I'd be getting a call in the middle of the day telling me to come get her. So this way she rests, hopefully tomorrow she'll be better.

Anyhow, I went in to talk with Michael's teacher. Cause the way I understood the paperwork that came in the mail to me, something was wrong. I mean, first is a cover letter that says this school Psychologist received a referral request to conduct an educational evaluation of him. Then it has a couple pages of their "why he's being considered" info. Then it says

Other factors considered relevant to the action:
missed class time, social stigma

I read this as here's some more reasons why he's being considered, he's missed class time, and has a social stigma. I was getting quite upset, number one why didn't they tell me he was being considered for being seen by a psychologist! Number two, he's missed one day of school for goodness sake, and that was because we were picking up his Daddy who was coming home from a 15month deployment! And social stigma?? What the heck? Is he having problems in school socially that no one's told me about? He talks about his friends all the time!

Unfortunately I got this packet late Friday afternoon, given Monday was a holiday I had three days to sit and stew in it. So we left for school early this morning, because I was going to get some answers! I showed the papers to his home room teacher and even she was confused. She explained to me that while Michael has made great improvements, they are worried he won't be ready to move on to 5th grade. They're using all the resources they have, but think that if they had extra help, perhaps he would be ready. So they are seeking to see if he'll qualify for an IEP. This is something I do wish they had communicated with me a little better. I mean, I have an appointment next week with the Speech Teacher, so I knew they're trying to get him help, but I didn't know it was going so far. Anyhow, his teacher assured me that Michael has not been missing classes, and he has not been causing any problems.

So we headed to visit the Special Ed Teacher to see what she had to say. She explained to me, that these things (missed class time and social stigma) are things that will most likely occur if he's approved for special services. Missed class time, obviously because he'd be pulled out of class for special instruction. Social stigma, because among his peers, there very well may be kids that will make fun of him and stuff. So it's possible negatives associated with giving him special help that they need to take into consideration. That made so much more sense to me. That I can deal with. So my fears were put to rest that my son was secretly failing in school miserably. I know my son, he loves school, it just didn't jive.

So then I asked why a Psychologist has to see him, I don't understand how that relates to his academic growth, and I was told that she's the one that knows all the "legal" aspects of an IEP, has the knowledge to make sure everything is written out legally and what have you. That he's not getting psychological help so to say, just she's the one that does up the legal paperwork. So this I'm still a little iffy on. I'd LOVE to hear from others that have walked down this road before. You know, I adore his teachers. Mrs. Bell and Mrs. Adcock are two of the sweetest ladies I met. But ever since the stuff with Johnathan, I no longer trust the school district whole heartily. I guess I've been stung, it still hurts.

So anyhow, my heart is a bit lighter this morning. I noticed Johnathan's demeanor change while we were in the school though. I could see his eyes glaze over. All the life and spark that was there just a few minutes ago as I gave him a little pep talk about doing good at school was gone. There's something going on with that boy that he just plain does not want to be at the school. He was so excited to learn sitting beside me at the Kitchen table yesterday. He was asking me to teach him the math problems he didn't know how to do. He asks me to get him the next book in the series he's reading. He WANTS to learn, just not at school. I wish I could get in his little head and see what the heck was going on!

Memory Lane

When my friend Lisa was here, she told me a bit about snapfish. I had heard of that website before, I was just never so sure on if their prints were actually of good quality. Now that I heard from someone I know and trust, I thought it wouldn't be such a bad idea to use them. In the day and age of digital photos, I never print out my photos anymore. Which means lots of family and friends don't get to see them. So I thought this way, family could go to my album and print any pictures they want to actually have. And even if no one wants them in their hands, this way I have another place my pictures are kept. When we moved back stateside, my hard drive in my computer had quit and for a good week it looked like I had lost all my beloved family pictures. I was a total wreck man! Thankfully my computer savvy husband messed around with it and saved my pics. I never want to feel like that again!

So anyhow, the other night I grabbed my digital photos and thought I'd start uploading them, year by year. We got our first digital camera back in 2004! Looking back through these old pictures had me reminiscing. At the time I thought my kids were getting big already. Now, five years later, I see how little they really were. I miss them!!

So I'm warning you, some of my favorite old pictures will be making their way to my blog. It is so incredibly hard to pick just one favorite picture of my kids out of a whole year's worth, but I tried....

My favorite 2004 pic of Caitlin:

Caitlin was born in March of 2004. This is later in the year, when she had begun to try to feed herself. I just love her chubby cheeks.

My favorite 2004 pic of Johnathan:

Every now and then God blesses me with a gem like this. I am no photographer, (unlike my hubby's cousin who has talent oozing out of her ears!), but I love the expression on his face as he's gazing out the windows of our house on the third floor. I have no idea what he was looking at, but it's just a great soft picture.

My favorite 2004 pic of Kirsten:

Though this pic seems a little grainy, I love the action in it as she looks over her shoulder. It reminds me of the sweet little spirit she always had as she played carefree. Always one to show her big brother she could do anything he could, she was on the go a lot!

And finally, my favorite 2004 pic of Michael:

Even though he's holding his new little sister, he truly is the focus of this picture. His big brown eyes, and that wide little grin. You can see the goofy looking boy he's about to become, but he still has so much baby in him!

Okay... I'm like officially home sick now. Why do we allow time to go by so quickly? Life seems like it's filled with trouble after trouble, and indeed it sometimes is. This has been my reminder to slow down, don't fret the small stuff, and enjoy my kids while I have them.

And here I thought...

And here I thought I was done with homeschooling...

Let's back up. I've shared the struggles my seven year old is having in school. I was talking with my mom yesterday about it. I love my mom. She so rocks. She'll listen and talk through things with me. She used to drive a bus with special needs kids, so she knows a thing or two about how the system works. Anyway, as we were talking, she hit on an idea that just bloomed in my mind. I have to remember what the teachers are seeing. Sure, I know that Johnathan is one smart cookie. He's shown me the type of work he's capable of. He has not done that for them. Even when given the opportunity the boy has no desire what so ever to show them what he's capable of. So, we're at a lack of motivation. I've tried rewarding him, I've tried punishing him. It's all gotten old and it doesn't motivate him anymore. So... I'm going to give him work at his level after school. At first I thought this is going to be too much and it's going to backfire, but really, it's perfect.

He breezes through the school day, he isn't learning anything in reading and writing, the rest of the stuff is right at his level. So, if he has had a bad day at school where he has not tried his best, and listened and obeyed the teachers, he will come home, and mommy will have work for him to do that is challenging for him. Extreme work is the name he came up with for it. Bonus side is he will be learning something, he will be challenged. If he has a great day at school and has shown his teachers his true potential, then he doesn't have to do the extra work. So either way it works. If he's constantly doing extra work at home, I will soon have a notebook full of papers to show his teachers, and it's no longer just my word. Johnathan continues to learn and he's not left behind. If he does straighten up at school, then the teachers will see what he's capable of and he'll get moved up accordingly.

When we came up with this, I sat down with Johnathan and was very frank about it all. I was shocked to see how excited he was about it. By including him in the process he feels a bit of ownership in it, he understands it inside and out. This should be effective. I thought at first that eventually this boy is going to get sick of doing soooooo much school work. But tonight as I was giving him placement tests, the boy was having fun. I'm almost worried he'll want to do this extra work! But really, the downside of the extra work, is more strain on me. But isn't that what being a mom is all about?

So anyway, I'm hoping this will get him acting right at school. If it doesn't, I'll have more tools at my disposal when it comes time to face the school again. I just wish I hadn't gotten rid of ALL my homeschool stuff. I only kept the kindergarten stuff thinking I might use it with Caitlin. *shrug* So I pay $20 to $30 on school books. It's for the good of my son.

An unforeseen side effect has happened though. Johnathan did pretty good on the third grade spelling placement tests, so just for kicks I gave him the fourth grade one, explaining to him fully that I did NOT expect him to get these words right. His older siblings wanted to join in. My oldest son has always struggled with reading. There's something with how he learns that spelling is just extremely hard for him. He didn't get any of the words right, which quickly led to a breaking down in tears and crying. He's decided that he wants extra work to do at home so that he can have more practice and hopefully get better. So how's that... I'll be giving my 7 and 10 year old boys, third grade spelling work at home on top of their regular school work. I'm just praying that Michael really is going to stick with this, and it's not going to break down to constant fits and fighting like homeschool was with him.

But as I sit here, I am thankful that God showed me that my business needed to go. Because I have finally come to terms with giving that up, I'm able to confidently say "Okay" to taking on this extra schooling. I thought I was done with it. I really did. But I see two boys that are struggling. Each for very different reasons, I need to try to help them through it.

On top of it all Kirsten is sick. 102* fever tonight. I'm not feeling so great, so I'm probably next in line to get this. I have a feeling this week will be a ton of fun. (sarcasm here) I have a Christmas card I need to make for my design team, and I'm feeling totally zapped of any creativity at the moment. I submitted a card for the High Hopes Design Team. I just could not nail that sketch. I wanted to so bad, but I just wasn't feeling it. Oh well... when the time is right, then I'll get to branch out. Right now, I'm going to be content with where God has me. :)

Where'd it go?

I can not believe it is Saturday already! This week just seemed to disappear from right in front of my eyes! It's been a trying week. Johnathan has not had smooth sailing in school, I got a bit upset with my husband (that's putting it nicely), and I've listed my inventory on the Internet to try to get rid of it at cost. It's been a down week, I retreated into my comfort zone. Staying home as much as possible, and hiding. What can I say? I know it's not right, but it's what I do. Always have.

But, today is feeling better. Michael has a basketball game. The poor boy doesn't really want to go. His team hasn't won a game yet, they have three different guys that take turn coaching. There's no real structure to his team, and it shows on the court. I don't want to let him stop going, the team needs him (most games they barely have enough boys to make a team), but more importantly, I don't want to teach him it's okay to quit just because your down. It's hard though, even I have a hard time sitting in the stands listening to parents of the other team cheer and correct their boys. It's so hard to hear them yelling things at the kids. I just want to blurt out "They're winning already! They're good enough, stop yelling at them!"

I got a package in the mail today from the Wamego School District. I don't know what to make of it. Apparently my oldest was referred to them for testing. But in this packet it asks a lot of questions about our personal life. I don't like it. If I was going to be sent such a thing, you'd think someone would have called me and let me know. As far as I know Michael's been doing good at school. I wanted, tried, pushed for Johnathan to get tested, nothing. Absolutely nothing. But they're pushing Michael. The only thing I can figure, is that Michael is academically behind, so he looks bad on their statistics, and want to move heaven and earth to get him to normal. Johnathan on the other hand looks just fine on their testing results. No need to allow him to move up.

I don't know, maybe I'm just being overly negative, but when I'm not being contacted about these things, what else am I supposed to do besides come to my own conclusions?

Anyhow... I talked with the missionaries from Wycliff today. God is so good, and I just LOVE it when he moves people places and orchestrates happenings. It's a reminder that He is indeed an all powerful God. It makes me all happy to see Him work!

I think I saw Dorthy fly by...

Today has been unbelievably windy. All of Kansas was under a wind advisory. My son's poor basketball hoop has fallen over so many times his hoop is no longer circular, it's oval! My trash can is a big one, it's fallen over twice and slid across our drive way. The speed limit sign across the street was pulled out of the ground. It was just unbelievable. The news says there were maintained 20mph wind, gusts in the low 30s. No wonder the Wizard of Oz was set in Kansas!

Unfortunately my meeting with Johnathan's teachers didn't go as I had hoped. I really do wish I had more of a backbone. I brought the talk around to the fact that he really needs to be challenged more and it always was steered away. I feel for the teachers, all they see is a little boy that can't behave. I'm the first to say that he's not as emotionally mature as he should be. But my saying that they need to treat the behavior problems separate than his education was not accepted. At the mention of an IEP I was pretty much shot down. I was told that was for kids who are emotionally unstable, and he should get therapy. That left me speechless, I've done my research, I know what an IEP is really for. I really do wish I had been stronger.

On the positive, they are starting a new chart, hoping his seeing immediate recording of his behavior will help him. I also gave them permission to keep him after school if they need to. It's just so frustrating! He's so smart, so bright, but he doesn't want to show them. He has no desire to prove to them what he knows.

I think I made a mistake in telling them that if this is not resolved by the end of the school year he will be homeschooled next year. Immediately I got opposition from them. But the fact is, he's not learning at a rate he should/could be. Yes, it's mostly because he makes it so stinking difficult, but I felt like they wouldn't even entertain the idea that he's acting this way because he's not being challenged. I don't know, being a teacher is an incredibly hard job. But mom... now that's tougher.

Is it the death of a dream?

I've shared rather publicly (I think) about my business adventure, and my struggle with it. It was almost a year ago (shy a few months) that I really felt like I was supposed to start this on-line scrapbook shop. Man, I jumped hurdles and went through hoops to get this started. Then life happened. Fast forward to the last two months, and I've been really struggling. Feeling guilty over not putting in the time and effort that any business needs to actually function. This led to me nearly feeling bad for taking care of my family. Thank the good Lord above, it never got quite that bad.

So, with the husband gone once again, I made it my goal to get the business straightened out, and up and running, it all started with prayer. A prayer that God would make the path He wants for me obvious to me. The beginning of this week was when I started to see it coming in the distance. Anything that could go wrong did. Things that I never even thought of came out of the woodwork. And today was the clincher.

I watched as my daughter took off her sneaker and poured sand onto the living room carpet. I could not believe what she was doing! She watched the little granules pour out of her shoe, much like one would poor water from a measuring cup, she watched them fall to the floor. "What are you doing!?!?!?" Was my immediate reaction. "You do that outside! Don't you know? I mean, it's obvious!!"

"It's obvious!", is what I heard from my Lord. Now's not the time. He's given me four beautiful kids (though not always the brightest) to nurture, and love, and constantly point them to Him. He's given me a husband to love, come along side of, and comfort. He's given me a fabulous church body to grow in, to serve, to learn with. He's given me other family and friends, to encourage, comfort and love. And he's given me a host of acquaintances that I need to put more time and effort into getting to know. For the slight chance that they'll notice His light within me, and I'll have the opportunity to point them to Him. He has given me people, people all around me. That's what I'm supposed to be doing. That is my role.

So while I am really truly having to fight off the enemy and his whispers of "See! You failed, AGAIN!" "Boy, weren't you dumb to think you could do something like that." I'm okay with it. Cause what on this earth is worth holding onto? I mean really, what is worth more than my Lord? He loves me, he has plans for me, things that I could never imagine. So I shall give this up to Him, because he asks me. I will continue to put my time and energy to work at serving Him. I do think my hobby of making cards is great for that. Through those things I can brighten other people's days. So I'm not giving that up, but the business part, I've got to let it go.

Tomorrow will be a challenge for me. I'm meeting with Johnathan's teachers after school. The boy has been having major behavior problems at school. I've been assessing it from all possible angles and I have a few ideas of what could be causing it. I'm just praying that God would give both his teachers, and myself the wisdom to see what is best for this little boy.

Thank you Lord!

Oye, oye, oye, oye, oye! Yup... that's right FIVE "oye"s! This last week and a half has been one heck of a doozy. All kinds of family turmoil going on since the husband left once again. Seemingly, our seven year old son was hit the hardest this time around. Just outright awful behavior at school. He was sent home early from school one day, and in the principle's office three other times. Yesterday I was actually brought to tears. I had done everything I could think of. I've prayed, lectured him, punished him, restricted him, sought his ATA instructor's help and even spanked him. Nothing. Then last night I tried one more time, asking him about the classes he doesn't have problems in first. I asked what he liked most about each of his classes, what was hard, what was easy. As I suspected, the two classes he has most of his problems in, he told me were way to easy. I reminded him as I had months ago, that because he doesn't do his best work, his teacher's don't know that it's too easy. His eyes lit up as I explained yet again that he was doing assessments and that he needs to show his teachers how smart he really is so they'll let him go up to the next class.

Today... a perfect day. No talking back, no fits, no throwing papers on to the floor, no broken pencils. He was such a happy boy today, skipping and smiling and talking all sorts. He was my Johnathan again, and it is so nice to have him back.

I didn't realize it, but the stress of having to deal with a kid that just doesn't get it, really took a toll on me. I had absolutely no creativity in me at all, he was draining me. I ate mindlessly, stuffing more stuff in my mouth, even when I knew I wasn't hungry I wanted anything sweet. Unfortunately I am now at the weight I was before I lost all my weight this last year. It so totally sucks! All those nice clothes I had bought are skin tight. Now granted, I didn't put 20 pounds on in a week, but I had planned to get back in shape, and instead went the exact opposite direction.

Also because of all the stresses, and other things going on, I have not had anytime for working on my business. This is something I placed in the Lord's hands, wanting to know if it's something I should be pursuing. All I've been hearing form him is that I already have a job. Granted it doesn't pay any money, but being mom to my kids, teacher to the kids at church, IS my job. It really kind of broke me. I feel like once again, I've started something and haven't finished it. Once again, I failed at something. But after I mourned the loss of a dream of mine, I told Him that yes, I do love my hobby, but I love my kids more. I will not sacrifice them for my dream of finding my place in that industry. While I'm not yet joyful over it, I have come to terms with it. So if I still don't get things all straightened out in the next four weeks, I'll be okay with letting that go. Maybe that's all God really wants from me. For me to put it on the alter to him.

Anywhoo... I have my plate full, and it can be really hard trying to decide what gets done that day and what doesn't. I'm just thankful that this is not my home. I'm looking forward to the other side of eternity!

Love my Daughter

I just wanted to take a minute to point to an entry on my daughter's blog.
Help me Celebrate Jump Rope for Heart's 30th Birthday.

Obviously the whole post is not her original words, it was taken from a template provided by the American Heart Association. But none the less, my daughter is excited about this. Even her big brother is doing extra chores around the house to sponsor her!

I know times are tough, I don't expect anyone to give, but wanted to do my part to encourage and support her.

Touching Video

This video was shared with me through e-mail. I thought it was quite touching so I wanted to share it here.



For the lyrics, or seeing what the website is about, head over to it's website: Born Again American.

Boredom & Love Fights

Today was a long day filled with driving all over the place and getting absolutely nothing done. Hubby had some unfinished business with getting the truck's plates and missing items of uniform that he needed me to take care of. I tried, oh boy did I try. But three different stores are all out of the pin he needs, and I don't know anywhere else to get them. With no power of attorney, there's no getting a plate for the truck, despite the fact I broke the forgery law that I think EVERY military wife breaks.

All this time, my poor Caitlin is reminding me often that she is bored. I can't blame the poor girl, we left the house at 8:30am and didn't get home till after 2pm! So I have a whole hour before picking up my kids. So much for all the plans I had of getting dishes, and laundry done and start working on my inventory. *sigh* I asked God to make it apparent to me if this was something I needed to pursue, so far I haven't been able to work on it at all! But I still have five more weeks.

When Caitlin wasn't reminding me of her utter boredom, she was picking love fights. This is when we "discuss" who loves who more. She insists that she loves me more, but all the moms in the world know there is no love like the love for a child. She is too cute.

Also I've been working on getting things lined up, and ironed out for our Bible Celebration that the Sunday School is sponsoring. There is a possibility that we might have a couple that is raising funds for their trip as Wycliff Missionaries. When this possibility was brought to me yesterday I just loved the idea. I'm now hoping and praying, that God will bring them to our church for that. It would be just perfect!

Anyhow, the childrens' part of this will include a skit, songs, and some jokes. I found some cute ones that I might be sharing here from time to time. Who doesn't love a cute kids' joke? (If you don't, then you're at the wrong blog!)

Q: Who is the greatest babysitter mentioned in the Bible?
A: David, he rocked Goliath to sleep.

Before I close, I'd like to leave a little shout out to Jenni. She's in the hospital about ready to have her first daughter! My thoughts are with you!