Looking Up

Well, finally things are starting to look up! Kirsten is nearly back to normal, and by the grace of God no one else in the family got sick with it. As anyone with a family knows it seems that sickness always gets passed around. It's the one thing that kids will share without having to be told!

Johnathan has had a good week at school. I think it's partially thanks to his Taekwando instructor, who is fabulous, and partially because of the new "Extreme Work". Here I was worried that he would want to do it. Nope... every day I've given him the option to do it or not, he always says no! So now I'm wondering what I'll be doing with the $30 worth of books I bought for him. I'm thinking they'll get done during the summer. :)

I am afraid however that my relationship with his teachers has been damanged. One in particular, she voiced her concern about me pulling him out of school having a negative affect on him socially. She's always been so plesent before, she'd smile and say hi, so very friendly. But the last three times I've seen her this week, that has not been the case. Now granted she very well could have been preoccupied with other things going on, but I don't know. I do love his teachers, I mean, I'll be the first to admit, Johnathan can be one stubborn boy, he hasn't been very nice to them. But he is my son, and I have to fight for him to get what he needs. If his needs are not seen to now, it's only going to lead to bigger problems in the future.

I have Parent Teacher conferences on Thursday. I plan on bringing up the fact that according to his progress report he's mastered near everything. A couple of those he hasn't, he did have mastered for his first testing before the school year. I mean really, how does a kid forget how to read three letter words? There's something going on there. If they refuse to move him up a level I want to present them a written formal request for an IEP. The thing is I'm not sure what exactly I should request. Do I simply ask for an IEP? Or do I ask that he be tested? And then tested for what? I do know that Kansas uses the term IEP for all sorts of individualized stuff, it doesn't have to be that they're slow, they use that termonology for those that are advanced as well.

Anyhow, I'm just thankful that he's starting to straighten up. Here's hoping it continues and he's gotten all this nonsense out of his system!

Memory Lane

When my friend Lisa was here, she told me a bit about snapfish. I had heard of that website before, I was just never so sure on if their prints were actually of good quality. Now that I heard from someone I know and trust, I thought it wouldn't be such a bad idea to use them. In the day and age of digital photos, I never print out my photos anymore. Which means lots of family and friends don't get to see them. So I thought this way, family could go to my album and print any pictures they want to actually have. And even if no one wants them in their hands, this way I have another place my pictures are kept. When we moved back stateside, my hard drive in my computer had quit and for a good week it looked like I had lost all my beloved family pictures. I was a total wreck man! Thankfully my computer savvy husband messed around with it and saved my pics. I never want to feel like that again!

So anyhow, the other night I grabbed my digital photos and thought I'd start uploading them, year by year. We got our first digital camera back in 2004! Looking back through these old pictures had me reminiscing. At the time I thought my kids were getting big already. Now, five years later, I see how little they really were. I miss them!!

So I'm warning you, some of my favorite old pictures will be making their way to my blog. It is so incredibly hard to pick just one favorite picture of my kids out of a whole year's worth, but I tried....

My favorite 2004 pic of Caitlin:

Caitlin was born in March of 2004. This is later in the year, when she had begun to try to feed herself. I just love her chubby cheeks.

My favorite 2004 pic of Johnathan:

Every now and then God blesses me with a gem like this. I am no photographer, (unlike my hubby's cousin who has talent oozing out of her ears!), but I love the expression on his face as he's gazing out the windows of our house on the third floor. I have no idea what he was looking at, but it's just a great soft picture.

My favorite 2004 pic of Kirsten:

Though this pic seems a little grainy, I love the action in it as she looks over her shoulder. It reminds me of the sweet little spirit she always had as she played carefree. Always one to show her big brother she could do anything he could, she was on the go a lot!

And finally, my favorite 2004 pic of Michael:

Even though he's holding his new little sister, he truly is the focus of this picture. His big brown eyes, and that wide little grin. You can see the goofy looking boy he's about to become, but he still has so much baby in him!

Okay... I'm like officially home sick now. Why do we allow time to go by so quickly? Life seems like it's filled with trouble after trouble, and indeed it sometimes is. This has been my reminder to slow down, don't fret the small stuff, and enjoy my kids while I have them.

And here I thought...

And here I thought I was done with homeschooling...

Let's back up. I've shared the struggles my seven year old is having in school. I was talking with my mom yesterday about it. I love my mom. She so rocks. She'll listen and talk through things with me. She used to drive a bus with special needs kids, so she knows a thing or two about how the system works. Anyway, as we were talking, she hit on an idea that just bloomed in my mind. I have to remember what the teachers are seeing. Sure, I know that Johnathan is one smart cookie. He's shown me the type of work he's capable of. He has not done that for them. Even when given the opportunity the boy has no desire what so ever to show them what he's capable of. So, we're at a lack of motivation. I've tried rewarding him, I've tried punishing him. It's all gotten old and it doesn't motivate him anymore. So... I'm going to give him work at his level after school. At first I thought this is going to be too much and it's going to backfire, but really, it's perfect.

He breezes through the school day, he isn't learning anything in reading and writing, the rest of the stuff is right at his level. So, if he has had a bad day at school where he has not tried his best, and listened and obeyed the teachers, he will come home, and mommy will have work for him to do that is challenging for him. Extreme work is the name he came up with for it. Bonus side is he will be learning something, he will be challenged. If he has a great day at school and has shown his teachers his true potential, then he doesn't have to do the extra work. So either way it works. If he's constantly doing extra work at home, I will soon have a notebook full of papers to show his teachers, and it's no longer just my word. Johnathan continues to learn and he's not left behind. If he does straighten up at school, then the teachers will see what he's capable of and he'll get moved up accordingly.

When we came up with this, I sat down with Johnathan and was very frank about it all. I was shocked to see how excited he was about it. By including him in the process he feels a bit of ownership in it, he understands it inside and out. This should be effective. I thought at first that eventually this boy is going to get sick of doing soooooo much school work. But tonight as I was giving him placement tests, the boy was having fun. I'm almost worried he'll want to do this extra work! But really, the downside of the extra work, is more strain on me. But isn't that what being a mom is all about?

So anyway, I'm hoping this will get him acting right at school. If it doesn't, I'll have more tools at my disposal when it comes time to face the school again. I just wish I hadn't gotten rid of ALL my homeschool stuff. I only kept the kindergarten stuff thinking I might use it with Caitlin. *shrug* So I pay $20 to $30 on school books. It's for the good of my son.

An unforeseen side effect has happened though. Johnathan did pretty good on the third grade spelling placement tests, so just for kicks I gave him the fourth grade one, explaining to him fully that I did NOT expect him to get these words right. His older siblings wanted to join in. My oldest son has always struggled with reading. There's something with how he learns that spelling is just extremely hard for him. He didn't get any of the words right, which quickly led to a breaking down in tears and crying. He's decided that he wants extra work to do at home so that he can have more practice and hopefully get better. So how's that... I'll be giving my 7 and 10 year old boys, third grade spelling work at home on top of their regular school work. I'm just praying that Michael really is going to stick with this, and it's not going to break down to constant fits and fighting like homeschool was with him.

But as I sit here, I am thankful that God showed me that my business needed to go. Because I have finally come to terms with giving that up, I'm able to confidently say "Okay" to taking on this extra schooling. I thought I was done with it. I really did. But I see two boys that are struggling. Each for very different reasons, I need to try to help them through it.

On top of it all Kirsten is sick. 102* fever tonight. I'm not feeling so great, so I'm probably next in line to get this. I have a feeling this week will be a ton of fun. (sarcasm here) I have a Christmas card I need to make for my design team, and I'm feeling totally zapped of any creativity at the moment. I submitted a card for the High Hopes Design Team. I just could not nail that sketch. I wanted to so bad, but I just wasn't feeling it. Oh well... when the time is right, then I'll get to branch out. Right now, I'm going to be content with where God has me. :)

Where'd it go?

I can not believe it is Saturday already! This week just seemed to disappear from right in front of my eyes! It's been a trying week. Johnathan has not had smooth sailing in school, I got a bit upset with my husband (that's putting it nicely), and I've listed my inventory on the Internet to try to get rid of it at cost. It's been a down week, I retreated into my comfort zone. Staying home as much as possible, and hiding. What can I say? I know it's not right, but it's what I do. Always have.

But, today is feeling better. Michael has a basketball game. The poor boy doesn't really want to go. His team hasn't won a game yet, they have three different guys that take turn coaching. There's no real structure to his team, and it shows on the court. I don't want to let him stop going, the team needs him (most games they barely have enough boys to make a team), but more importantly, I don't want to teach him it's okay to quit just because your down. It's hard though, even I have a hard time sitting in the stands listening to parents of the other team cheer and correct their boys. It's so hard to hear them yelling things at the kids. I just want to blurt out "They're winning already! They're good enough, stop yelling at them!"

I got a package in the mail today from the Wamego School District. I don't know what to make of it. Apparently my oldest was referred to them for testing. But in this packet it asks a lot of questions about our personal life. I don't like it. If I was going to be sent such a thing, you'd think someone would have called me and let me know. As far as I know Michael's been doing good at school. I wanted, tried, pushed for Johnathan to get tested, nothing. Absolutely nothing. But they're pushing Michael. The only thing I can figure, is that Michael is academically behind, so he looks bad on their statistics, and want to move heaven and earth to get him to normal. Johnathan on the other hand looks just fine on their testing results. No need to allow him to move up.

I don't know, maybe I'm just being overly negative, but when I'm not being contacted about these things, what else am I supposed to do besides come to my own conclusions?

Anyhow... I talked with the missionaries from Wycliff today. God is so good, and I just LOVE it when he moves people places and orchestrates happenings. It's a reminder that He is indeed an all powerful God. It makes me all happy to see Him work!

Thank you Lord!

Oye, oye, oye, oye, oye! Yup... that's right FIVE "oye"s! This last week and a half has been one heck of a doozy. All kinds of family turmoil going on since the husband left once again. Seemingly, our seven year old son was hit the hardest this time around. Just outright awful behavior at school. He was sent home early from school one day, and in the principle's office three other times. Yesterday I was actually brought to tears. I had done everything I could think of. I've prayed, lectured him, punished him, restricted him, sought his ATA instructor's help and even spanked him. Nothing. Then last night I tried one more time, asking him about the classes he doesn't have problems in first. I asked what he liked most about each of his classes, what was hard, what was easy. As I suspected, the two classes he has most of his problems in, he told me were way to easy. I reminded him as I had months ago, that because he doesn't do his best work, his teacher's don't know that it's too easy. His eyes lit up as I explained yet again that he was doing assessments and that he needs to show his teachers how smart he really is so they'll let him go up to the next class.

Today... a perfect day. No talking back, no fits, no throwing papers on to the floor, no broken pencils. He was such a happy boy today, skipping and smiling and talking all sorts. He was my Johnathan again, and it is so nice to have him back.

I didn't realize it, but the stress of having to deal with a kid that just doesn't get it, really took a toll on me. I had absolutely no creativity in me at all, he was draining me. I ate mindlessly, stuffing more stuff in my mouth, even when I knew I wasn't hungry I wanted anything sweet. Unfortunately I am now at the weight I was before I lost all my weight this last year. It so totally sucks! All those nice clothes I had bought are skin tight. Now granted, I didn't put 20 pounds on in a week, but I had planned to get back in shape, and instead went the exact opposite direction.

Also because of all the stresses, and other things going on, I have not had anytime for working on my business. This is something I placed in the Lord's hands, wanting to know if it's something I should be pursuing. All I've been hearing form him is that I already have a job. Granted it doesn't pay any money, but being mom to my kids, teacher to the kids at church, IS my job. It really kind of broke me. I feel like once again, I've started something and haven't finished it. Once again, I failed at something. But after I mourned the loss of a dream of mine, I told Him that yes, I do love my hobby, but I love my kids more. I will not sacrifice them for my dream of finding my place in that industry. While I'm not yet joyful over it, I have come to terms with it. So if I still don't get things all straightened out in the next four weeks, I'll be okay with letting that go. Maybe that's all God really wants from me. For me to put it on the alter to him.

Anywhoo... I have my plate full, and it can be really hard trying to decide what gets done that day and what doesn't. I'm just thankful that this is not my home. I'm looking forward to the other side of eternity!

Just sharing...

Uh-oh. Looks like I'm becoming a once a week blogger! Well, it happens to the best of us from time to time. The Lord's been working on me and I've realized I have to prioritize things in my life. With four kids, a hubby, children's ministry, crazy dog, and household duties... it just goes on and on. But you know, God is good... and as long as I continue to seek after His will, things will be all right.

I've been struggling a lot lately on my scrapbook business I'm trying to get off the ground. Okay, ex that... wanting to get off the ground, cause let's face it, I haven't spent much time on it at all. I've been feeling so much guilt over that. I don't want to give it up, because it is something I love so much, not to mention I am notorious for starting ventures and not seeing them through. But with prayer and Godly friends, I've finally come to a decision.

Our woman's group at church is doing a study about true freedom in Christ. Previously when I'd hear the word "captive" I'd think something big. Like a childhood trauma that you can't seem to shake, or drug use, or alcohol, something like that. But I've come to understand that anything in your life that does not allow you to live in the fullest riches of Christ, a Spirit filled life is a sort of captor. For me... that's my busy schedule.

Let's take yesterday for example. (Warning, I know this is already a boring post, but it's about to get worse!) Hubby's alarm went off at 4am, and I struggled to get back to sleep. Finally got up just before 7am. Get the kids off to school and return home for an hour to do speech exercises with my youngest. Head out the door to run some errands, pick up some silk flowers for the church, go to library story time with my daughter, head out to base to have lunch with my hubby, go into walmart for a few necessities. We returned home for an hour, of which I spent making sandwiches for the evening and watched a tiny bit of the inauguration activities. Then it was promptly off to pick up my children, drive out to Wamego for Kirsten's gymnastics, do homework with the boys while we're there, get Johnathan to Takewando, let Michael eat his food. Load them all back into the van allow the rest of the kids to eat while we're on our way to Michael's basketball. Drive out to meet hubby in Manhattan where we traded vehicles and thankfully (oh so very thankfully) I was able to go to women's bible study. But in a week hubby leaves, again, for six weeks, so it's back to doing it on my own. Anyhow, I return home at 9pm. A good 13 hours after I left in the morning.

Life is just busy! Sure, not all my days are spent out of the house, but there are times when I allow that busy-ness to overwhelm me. I loose my joy, loose sight of what is truly important in life. When I reach the end of my life, will my biggest regret be not pursuing my business? No. I will be happy knowing that my children had a mother that they knew without a shadow of a doubt loved them. I don't want to be that mom that is only there to yell at and correct them when they do wrong. Likewise I want to be the wife that the husband looks forward to coming home to. My family is my most important ministry. They have to come first.

So anyhow... as to my decision. I'm giving myself the six weeks hubby is gone to get my act together. With him gone I'll have my evenings to myself (that's the theory any way) and I should be able to get it all up and running. I'm praying that if God wants this in my life, then He will go before me and smooth out the bumps. If this is not something in his will, then I want a whole lot of obstacles in the way so it will be obvious to me.

Any whoo... I'm not sure where all that came from. lol I'd just like to point you to the text below the "Simply Shenanigans"... ramblings... questionable sanity... yeah. That's my disclaimer! This week, I'm praying for my friend J... may contractions come and you have that little one! My friend Lisa... praying for God's provision and peace in your lives, and a clear vision for you to return! My friend Nona... keep her, her boys (including hubby) safe. My church kids... may they get excited about the party we're going to be throwing, and the congregation as well. And myself... may I keep first things first, and second things second!

Happy 2009

Happy 2009 y'all! Sorry I haven't been around much. With the kids out of school, and all their extra activities put on hold this week, we've been living a relaxed lazy life. It's been good to have some unwinding time. It hasn't all been easy though, Nahla decided to put a 3" hole in our carpet while we were at church last Sunday. You know, most puppies chew on furniture or shoes. Not ours, no, she hasn't destroyed a couch or chair, not a single shoe has been harmed despite there being 8 pairs sitting in the living room. Nope, instead she puts a hole in our carpet. Needless to say, our restraint was seriously challenged!

Lately I've been trying to work on my website. Finally got Magento installed. That thing has so many bells and whistles, it's like a little kid in a candy store. But unfortunately all those bells and whistles make it's learning curve extremely steep. I have spent days on this app, and I'm still not close to being able to launch it. Hopefully I'll get it up by the end of the month. We shall see!

So unfortunately, my beloved hobby of card making has kind of gone on the back burner for right now. Next week the kids go back to school, and all their activities start up. Kirsten will be going to a different gymnastics school. This one with older equipment but far more experienced and qualified coaches. I am looking forward to that! Michael starts the basketball season, he's completely stoked about that. And we're trying to transfer Johnathan to a different location for his Taekwando. It's owned by the same person, but has different instructors and I'm not quite so thrilled with that. I have the highest of regards for his current instructor, he is really talented at what he does and knows how to interact with a trying seven year old boy. I worry that I won't be happy with anyone who's slightly less capable of juggling so many roles.

So that's what's going on. Not a whole lot, and I'm enjoying it. The crazy hectic life is due to resume on Tuesday, we'll see how I survive. lol

It's begining to smell a lot like Christmas

Anyone who knows me, knows usually my Christmas decorations are going up before all the Thanksgiving dishes are washed. This year has been unusual for me, the outside of our house still has no lights, and my tree has been in my living room for one week, all it has is lights and garland.

Friday evenings in our house are known as "Family Night". It's the one night that there is no where to go, nothing to do, I love it! Tonight we're making my famous Chocolate Chip Cookies (what do you mean you never heard of them?) and hanging ornaments on the tree. I decided to get just a small amount of baking out of the way this morning. Caitlin and I made Spritz cookies together. It was my first time doing them, as my friend gave me her Pampered Chef Cookie press when she moved to California in June. I love it!

Anyhow, something that's been bugging me lately is that there are nearly no pictures of me with my kids. As I make their scrapbooks it seems I'm not even in their lives! So I bugged my hubby to sit and take some pictures, boy am I glad I did!

I won't share them all here, but there's a few I just have to.

Caitlin of course is given the job of pouring the already measured ingredients into the bowl, keeping the mixing bowl steady, and decorating the cookies. She had done some snowflakes with blue sugar, some wreathes with green. Then we did some squares of which I gave her my big Christmas Mix to decorate with.



I had the side with holes opened, so I knew she couldn't dump them out, however this quickly led to "It's too heavy for me!" So I put some in a dish and instructed her to use her fingers and sprinkle them on. While I turned to tend to something else, she promptly picked up that little dish and dumped all the Christmas goodies on one cookie. While I missed it, thankfully her Daddy did not.



I just love the distressed look on her face. It's priceless. These are the memories I'll cherish when she's all grown up with little ones of her own.

We will be making more tonight, so the others aren't left out of the baking fun, so beware there might be more pictures tomorrow. So, as I conclude this post, I'll share just one more.



A happy little girl feeding a happy daddy Cookie Dough. :)

Why?... How?? and other such laments.

Let's start with "Why?" Why oh why did I ever get a puppy? I know, Michael had been begging me for a dog for years. Chocolate labs are hubby's favorite breed of dog. I knew the owner of the momma, and she's a fantastic gal. How often will you find a pure chocolate lab at the price of $50. And lets not forget... she was soooooo very cuuuuuute!

Yeah, well now that cute, can't pass it up, puppy is driving me nuts! She's going into bedrooms, getting kid toys to chew on. She's slowly tearing apart my Christmas tree. Each morning I wake to at least three branches torn off the bottom and scattered around the living room. Why oh why did I get a puppy?

As for how... Thursday I visited Mrs. Kirsten (Nahla's original human mommy) to get my hair fixed. I had my hair highlighted for my Sister's wedding back in Sept. 07. I hated the job and went to Kirsten to fix it a couple months later. She did such a fantastic job I wanted some more highlights put in for hubby's return. Well, hubby returned early, but I didn't care, I wanted my hair touched up.

Anyway, she washes the color out and says "You only had three grey hairs, not bad." What?!? Gray hairs? When did that happen? I'm only 31!! I can't have gray hairs! "I think I got them all." she comforted me. I jokingly told her that if any remain she can just pluck them out. Low and behold a minute later she finds one as she blow drying my hair. "You're going to have such pretty silvery hair." she comments. Uh, like hell no I'm not! lol I had her pluck it. My mom chastised me for that one, saying I'm going to only get more, but I wanted that hair gone. It was funny cause you could see the dye mark like halfway down of when I had tried to fix the bad highlight job. I brought it home to my husband, with strict instructions of telling the Army that's the damage deployments do to his wife. I swear I didn't have grey hair before he left!

I'm so not ready to face getting older. Not ready at all.

On to other non-news. Today I created a card for a Design Team call for the Christmas Cards All Year Round blog. It's a small blog, and they've posted the call several times, so I get the feeling they haven't had that many takers. I had thought I'd pass on the chance with hubby being home and all, but today I decided why not. You've got to start somewhere right? Besides it was fun. They'll make the decision on Monday, then I will post my entry on my crafty blog. Win or loose, I like it, it's cute, and I'll share it.

Now I must get my butt in domestic gear. After the kids school they have dentist appointments and Calvary Kids Club. So I gotta get things cleaned up now and a take with us dinner made.

Oh, I can't believe I almost forgot to share this cute picture.
Yesterday was really cold, when hubby came home he directly to our bed, hoping to warm up under the covers. Caitlin and I joined him and they ended up taking a nap.



Aren't they too cute?

All about hubby

My friend posted this list on her blog, and given my husband's recent return home, I just HAD to snag it!

All about Hubby...
1. He's sitting in front of the TV, what is on the screen? An action/adventure movie.

2. You're out to eat; what kind of dressing does he get on his salad? Ranch

3. What's one food he doesn't like? Artichoke Hearts

4. You go out to the bar. What does he order? We never go to bars, but if we did, it would be a German Beer.

5. Where did he go to high school? Sunny Side High School, Tucson, Arizona

6. What size shoe does he wear? 9

7. If he was to collect anything, what would it be? Coffee mugs

8. What is his favorite type of sandwich? Philly Cheese Steak

9. What would he eat every day if he could? Mexican Food

10. What is his favorite cereal? Cocoa Puffs

11. What would he never wear? Pants hanging down low

12. What is his favorite sports team? He doesn't have one, he thinks they all get paid too much.

13. Who did he vote for? McCain

14. Who is his best friend? Me

15. What is something you do that he wishes you wouldn't do? Bug him with silly blog questions

16. How many states has he lived in? Five plus Germany and Japan

17. What is his heritage? All mixed... like most Americans

18. You bake him a cake for his birthday what would it be? It would be a cheesecake

19. Did he play sports in high school? Track & Cross Country

20. What could he spend hours doing? Reading, putting up with his wife

21. What's something cool about him? He actually laughs at my jokes. He has a photo memory when it comes to technology. He can list stats of all sorts of gadgets and tell you exactly which one can do what and how much it costs. He can instantly revert to boyhood and play with the kids, but when I need him, he's all grown up. :)

Home

Are those happy kids or what? That was the scene yesterday, and the reason why I may be a little hard to nail down. The ceremony time kept changing, first it was on Sunday, then it was Monday at 11am, then it was Monday at 8:30am, then when we got there we were told it changed to 10. Thankfully though, once it did start, it was super quick. They marched them all in (about 100 guys) and some high ranking guy thanked the men for a job well done, then said let's get these guys released to their loved ones. I was so thankful for that! Finally someone who knew his droning on and on meant little to the soldiers, they just wanted to be with their families.

So for now things are going slow. He has to go back to work full time on Thursday, I'm sure I'll be pestering my blog then. :)

One more day...

Ha! As I should have predicted, hubby's homecoming isn't happening today. His plane broke down in Iceland. lol Poor guy. Now we're rescheduled for Monday at 11am. I'm rolling with the punches, unfortunately however my oldest is being a down right difficult child and I can't help but wonder if it's because of this. He is just lashing out at everyone, and though I understand his frustration and anger, it's not okay that he takes it out on those of us that are home. *sigh* Today is going to be looooooong.

On the bright side, I now have more time to clean up. lol Not to mention play with my "stuff". I posted a card I made today on my other blog, and I really need to get making a good website. I gave out several cards at the craft show yesterday, I need to have a website to support it, but I just so am NOT in the mood to create a website. I have the know how, I just don't have the gumption. I wish there were a lady out there that would trade me a website for a discount on scrapbook items. lol If you are out there, contact me!!

Oh... thought I'd leave with this picture of my daughter, bored at the craft show yesterday.

Finally Home...

Today has been excruciatingly long! But it hasn't always felt that way. The alarm went off bright and early at 6am. Out the door by 6:30. My oldest stayed home with our dog. Last night, my oldest thought it was a grand idea to play keep away with Nahla using one of those small rubber bouncy balls. Well, Nahla got it, and swallowed it whole! So while I'm freaking out Nahla's quite pleased with herself. Thankfully the vet said she should be able to pass it (while she's barely a 5mo old pup, she weighs 40lbs, she's a big girl), he gave me some medicine to give to her to help her poop. So since my oldest was the one to feed her the ball, he got to stay home to take her potty constantly and see if that stupid ball makes it through.

Anyway, I dropped my youngest two off at a friends house, then my oldest daughter and I headed to the craft show. It was pretty easy to set up, I had one table their for me. When the doors opened at 9am the guy that was to my back dumped all of his oils on his six pails of potpurri. While I've always liked potporri, sitting by buckets of it for hours on end isn't good. Come noon my head was pounding, and when 4pm came I couldn't wait to get out of there. Thankfully 3/4 of my stuff sold and it was a super quick pick up. I hope to be able to do the show again next year. With more time to prepare I can make more things and be less stressed about it. I was shocked that three of my cards actually sold for $3 ea and I had several people take a business card and even chatted about my cricut machine with a few!

Anyhow, so now my head is pounding, but it's been a good day. I pick up my kids and as I'm driving towards Pizza Hut to pick up our pasta for dinner (I love their chicken pasta) the phone rings. It's the army. I get to pick up my husband Sunday afternoon!! It's supposed to be COLD tomorrow, and the ceremony is outside, so hopefully it will be quick. The poor guys have been in the desert for the last 15 months, they think 60 is down right cold. We're not even supposed to hit 40* tomorrow, and our off and on snow is supposed to continue tomorrow. What a homecoming it will be!

So, if I'm not around my computer much the next couple days you'll know why. He's supposed to have two days off before he has to go back to work, till the 13th when his block leave starts. So I'm sure I'll get to the computer by the end of the week. But I doubt I'll be around my puter for the next two days or so. :D

A lonnnnnng time...

First, I want to say very publicly, thank you Jenni! For understanding my need to vent despite the fact that I know all of this stuff already. lol And of course my mom... who I called immediately begging for her to come do my craft show for me. lol Thanks for laughing with me through it all.

I'm a military wife of 13 years, this is not the first homecoming I've been through, though this is the longest he's ever been away. He left on the 3rd of Sept. 07. He'll be home just days shy of 15 solid months. I know that it's perfectly 'normal' for the emotions to range from anxiety to pure excitement. There's even resentment, fear, joy, and awkwardness. It's all very usual... but just because it's 'normal' does not mean it's easy.

This morning as I was cleaning up my kitchen, preparing to get my pie started, my mind wandered to the changes that have happened in this house since he's been gone. There's been a lot.

The first one that comes to my attention (probably because I can't take two steps without running into her) is our Nahla.

I am so sorry Jenni, you've asked me about her often, and I somehow always forget to snap a pic of her. Even now that I have, it doesn't show her size well, all I can say is when we got her, her head was well below my knees when I sat. Now you can see she's waaaay taller than that. But I just love this picture, she's so.... handsome in it. (Can I use that word to describe a girl dog?) She is beautiful but she is a handful! She's a very large, playful, rambunctious (did I mention large?) puppy. She is however my hubby's favorite breed, so hopefully he'll fall in love with her. Hopefully she won't mind him to much as well. lol I can see the two of them getting along.

Then there's the fact that when he left I was homeschooling the kids. Now they go to the public school, which involves a huge change for them, but also for our schedule. There's dropping off, and picking up, tutoring days to keep straight not to mention homework.

When he left the kids were not in extra activities, now there's Gymnastics, Taekwando, Library Story time, Calvary Kids Club and soon there will be basketball as well.

All of his kids are a year older, half of them have had two birthdays since he's been gone.

I'd have to say one of the biggest differences is me. Quite frankly, I was depressed. I had the joy of the Lord, but being joyful is not the same as being happy. I was depressed, I didn't take care of my self, I didn't put even an ounce of effort into my appearance. And though I still do not wear makeup, and I'm not all about my looks, I have self worth and value now. The Lord has worked on me lots while my husband's been gone.

And you know, I'm sure the biggest changes are those that I don't know about yet. The ones in him. Those that know our story know that there has to have been major changes for him. I mean we faced divorce square in the eye while he was gone. It's weird. Fifteen months is a long time.

Can't Focus

Today has been the polar opposite of yesterday. Yesterday started out cruddy but quickly transformed into a good day. Today started out fantastic, then quickly transformed into a cruddy day. I let Nahla stay outside last night since the cloud cover was supposed to keep the temps up. So I was able to sleep in till 7:30! Talk about fabulous! But as I woke I realized my whole body ached, and when I tried to talk with my kids, I had no voice! It came back to me as I got up and moving, but I sound like someone who's been smoking for 80 years!

This sinus thing is going around my family. Started with my youngest, has gone full circle up the ranks to me. Unfortunately though it seems my baby picked up another version of it, as she had a fever when she crawled into bed tonight. We just have to get past this this weekend!

I tried to craft today, I really did. When I think that the craft show is only 2 weeks away now, I want to go into panic mode! I have virtually nothing right now. I managed to make about six packets today but then I just quit. I did not like how they were turning out. I just can't concentrate and be creative when my body aches like it does.

The whole day was not wasted though. We got a boatload of laundry done today. And I do say "we". My kids rocked it for me today! They each folded their own, and separated out mine, helped me with the socks. (Have I ever mentioned that I HATE folding socks?) Given we haven't had a truly warm warm day in a while I bit the bullet and put up all the summer clothes so we have enough hangers for the long sleeve shirts. I do feel that today wasn't wasted, it just wasn't spent where I needed it! So now, I am on my way to bed. Unfortunately it's dipping into the mid 20s tonight, so Nahla is inside. Here's hoping she doesn't "retrieve" things out of the trash for me while I'm sleeping. It all leaves me asking, "Why, oh why did I get a dog again?" lol

Oh, I almost forgot. My daily thankful. I did forget yesterday. (I'm slapping my own hand.) Well, yesterday I was very thankful for the fabulous teachers that my kids have. They are fantastic women, and I am so thankful that God has provided an excellent school for my kids.

Today, I am thankful for $1.99 a gallon gas!! Here I thought it would never go below $2 again in my lifetime! Woo-hoo! Just in time for hubby to get home and do his long drives to work. The gas prices before he left was killing us. This will be a little easier to swallow.

A dog sorta day

Today's been a longer, yet relaxed day. Although, it didn't start that way. This morning I woke to sounds of our puppy's paws on the kitchen floor. There was a lot of foot steps for so early in the morning. Little alarm bells went off in my head. So I got out of bed and what did I find? Clothes everywhere!! I have a laundry basket in the living room of clean but unfolded clothes. It's like a pit of socks that I just can't force myself to fold.

Well, at least they used to be, until my dog decided she would spread them out all over the floor. Boy, was I not happy. And boy did she find out. After grabbing a hold of her, spanking her hind quarters and dragging her out to the back yard I forced myself to take stock of the damage. Surprisingly they were wet from dog slobber, but there were no tears or holes. Go figure, she played with them, didn't tear them apart. Labs are listed as retrieving dogs, is that what she was doing?

Now I'll have to decide, do I lock her up in her Kennel where she's guaranteed to wake me up super early, or do I hide the basket of clothes and take my chances with her retrieving something else?

Needless to say, I wasn't in the bests of moods. Thankfully I got a great e-mail from my friend which boosted my spirits. The morning hours were then spent crafting. Nothing to show for my efforts yet, but I hope to complete them tomorrow. This afternoon I had Parent - Teacher conferences to go to. Thankfully they went well. Johnathan is finally going up a level in reading class. He had started in the higher class, but because of his behavior, they moved him down. Though he still struggles with his behavior, he has improved enough they want to put him back up. I'm worried that the change in teachers and the change in routines is going to stir up some problems, but I'm hopeful that having work that isn't a cakewalk for him will help as well. The boy acts up when he's bored, so this just might help!

My older two have improved a lot since first getting there. They had big adjustments to make from having only been homeschooled to now being in public school. I adore my kids' teachers. They're all fantastic ladies.

This evening we have gymnastics class and Taekwondo. I'm planning on taking the kids out to a new fast food place that just opened up; Freddy's Steakburgers and Frozen Custard. I've never heard of it before, I hear it's just a tad expensive, but they deserve it!

Happy Veteran's Day

You know, growing up as a kid, I heard about Veteran’s Day. I knew what it was about, but I never really did truly appreciate it. I’m 99% certain that’s true for all kids. It’s just not something you think about in your days of youth. I’m afraid to say that I feel the same is true for a lot of adults in this country too. You can’t truly appreciate what a veteran, or active military member does unless it’s touched your life somehow. I mean, I’m thankful for police and firefighters. I think they are true heroes, often unsung. But I can’t truly appreciate what it is they do. Put their life on the line every day.

The same was true of me, even as a military wife, until this war on terror started. When I married my husband back in ’95, the only war I knowingly lived through was Desert Storm. And that was pretty much short and sweet. I was in high school during that war, I was more concerned about the drama going on with my friends than some war that was in another country. I was more into 90210 than watching the nightly news. The first six years of our marriage was during peace time. There were a couple two or three month exercises in the field. All really no big deal. Then 9-11 happened. That’s the beginning of my getting to truly appreciate Veterans and what they’ve done for us.

My kids’ school had an hour long Veteran’s Day ceremony today. I wish the school district I grew up in would have tried to actually teach us the importance of this day. Not that I can guarantee I would have listened if they had, but who knows, maybe I would have. The local VA chapter came to the school, carried the flags and opened the ceremony. Not ten minutes into the thing I had my first opportunity to fight tears. A gentleman placed a black POW cover on an empty chair in the front, the speaker explaining that the gentleman doing so was himself a POW of Vietnam. I lost the fight with the tear that formed in my eye. The things that man and his family had to endure, and all those that never return home. What can I say, it got to me.

The high school’s marching band was there, among other songs they played the theme songs for the five branches of the military. I leaned into my daughters’ ear during the Marine Corps song. “If Daddy were here he’d be singing the words.” She smiled. Her daddy would drive me absolutely nuts walking around the house singing that song. Later I found out they have been teaching the kids those songs. I think my husband has a singing partner in Kirsten now. They both sing off key so it’ll be beautiful.

They asked the students of the school to stand if they have a relative that is serving or has served, I was shocked when somewhere around 90% of the kids stood. Granted, most of those were probably grandkids of military members, but still. A list of names was called out of people that were present who have served, each stood and were applauded. Some that stick out in my memory, one of the last survivors of Perl Harbor, WWII vet, and a nurse who served in the Nurse’s Corp. They called my husband’s name. My kids got to stand up for him. Again, I had to fight the tears.
My husband and I don’t always agree on things, my nose would grow if I said we’ve had more good years together than bad. But I’m ready for him to be home. And I’m proud of him. And I’m proud of my kids. And I pray that I do a better job of teaching my kids how important it is to be truly thankful for those who have served and die for our country, than I was taught as a child. My job may be easy, as their lives have been deeply touched and torn by this war.

Oh, before I forget. Our town ordered some banners to go on the light poles of the town’s main street. There’s only four flags, but on one side they say something like “St. George salutes those who serve our country.” (Not an exact quote, I'm going from memory.) And the other sides have names of people who live here that have served, or are currently serving.



That’s my hubby, second one down. Say what you may about hick town St. George, who’s only businesses in city limits is a bar and a barber shop. I’m proud to live here.

mia

A big ol' "Sorry!" to those who have been waiting for an e-mail from me. I don't know what's goin' on with me! Okay, so I kinda do. I just can't get myself out of it. Saturday was a busy day of working around the house. I loaded up all the left over garage sale stuff that's been in my garage for over a month into my van. Now at least I can fit a vehicle in there again. The van full of stuff now sits in the garage waiting for me to haul it down to the Salvation army tomorrow.

Yesterday was a good but awkward day. The other two families with kids in my class didn't come. So Sunday School consisted of just my four children. It was kind of weird. The pastor that teaches on Sunday night is sick with bronchitis, so he didn't make the hour plus drive to come teach Sunday night, so I didn't get fed Sunday night either. Our pastor planned a movie night, but I couldn't bring myself to drive all the way out there for a movie when I'd rather just spend downtime with my kids at home. Sunday afternoon we walked to the school and played on the playground. My youngest has been pining for a chance to play on the new equipment.

That night my heart broke. My youngest has a stuffed unicorn that she got from the hospital when I took her in for an x-ray, shortly after we moved here. It is her most favorite stuffed animal in the whole wide world. Well, I allowed her to bring it to church with her, and unfortunately she left it there. This naturally was discovered as she was climbing in bed for the night. The big brown eyes with tears swelling up in them and quivering bottom lip did me in. It didn't help that this was just after she had talked all about how she misses daddy and how he would read night-night stories to her. She was trying to be a big girl, holding back her tears as she realized unicorn was alone at church. Man, talk about heart wrenching!! I dashed into my room, and got a stuffed animal off the top of our wardrobe. It's stuffing is similar to her unicorn, her daddy won it for me at an amusement park in Germany. I offered it to her and after finding out it was from her daddy she took it. She thanked me and said it reminded her a little of her unicorn. My poor four year old! I'm headed to the church tomorrow, it'll be a happy reunion for her!

Today I pretty much wasted. I found out that abc has season 2 episodes of Kyle XY on the web to watch for free and I got hooked on it. I haven't been hooked on a TV show in a very long time. At least this way I had very limited commercials. lol I got a phone call today though that really bothered me. It's hard when there are rifts in family. It's even harder when you feel like you have to protect yourself from them. I hope my children never feel like that. But I refuse to feel guilty. I have a responsibility to protect my children from harmful people, even if that person is family, and especially since they refuse to acknowledge just how toxic they are.

Anyhow, so I admit, I've been kind of mopey lately. I'm fourteen months into a fifteen month deployment. God is so big, and so grand, he's used this experience to fix my marriage. But I'm not handling this last month as well as everyone thinks I am. I'm not like hiding out in a dark room type of thing, my Lord is my strength and the house still functions. I just think I'm taking a bit too much pity time. But it's comfortable here.

Tomorrow is going to be super busy. I have Caitlin's speech class, story time, meeting with the pastor, taekwando, bible study, errands, the list goes on and on. Add on top of that a seven year old boy who is struggling through school, and I can't figure out how to help him, a nine year old daughter who can't get enough hugs and feels alone, and a ten year old son that's been acting out against those that love him most, probably because of his Dad's absence. I don't know, maybe I have a decent enough reason to waste an entire day watching sci-fi stuff on my laptop?

Nada...

Nothing, nada, zilch, zero, that's how much stuff I've gotten done today. I don't know what it is, but I just can't seem to get motivated. I'm not depressed, I just have no energy and no drive to do anything. Maybe staying up past one in the morning did me in. My mom wants me to get my thyroid checked since problems with that run in the family. Maybe it's my lack of exercise lately. What ever it is, it has me in a funk. Despite having a nifty schedule that should be keeping me on task, I just want to lay on the couch. I did go to the school and eat lunch with my kids. In a few hours I'll be picking them up, dashing to Kirsten's gymnastics, grabbing some food to eat and getting back to the school. Johnathan is missing Taekwando today because Michael and Kirsten have a concert they're in at the school. They have to dress up prairie style. Michael is so nervous because he gets to play the Xylophone and he hasn't quite mastered it. Before going to school, they keep telling me "make sure you bring your camera mom"! So they're excited.

In other news... I got an e-mail from a woman that was a dear friend of mine back in highschool. Her hubby is in the Army and they're expecting to be moved to the same base my hubby is stationed at this summer. I'm excited to see her, meet her hubby and two boys. People change a lot in life, I'm not the same person I was back in highschool, but it'll be neat to catch up with her.

Hubby sent me good news via e-mail. During their deployment award ceremony Sgt. Major told him he wants hubby heading up the Tactical Airspace Integration System (TAIS) team when they return. This is huge and such a sign of God's hands at work. Thanks to a couple different people in charge at different times, hubby had pretty much been dismissed as a looser, having no future in the Army. Now he's finally being recognized for what he does. I know it'll make a welcomed change for him. Maybe now he'll be happier in his career. Before that ever happened though, he had to get right with God for that to happen. I'm just so glad to see Him work, He is a great God.

Hmm... lets see... there was something else that I can't remember right now. Guess my brain is on vacation too!

Bye bye weekend

*sigh* The weekend is over and it's back to the week. I feel so drained that I am so tempted to say adios to the schedule I made for myself. But the boys' clothes hampers are overflowing, so is the sink with dishes, so I do have to get some work done today. I'm thankful we don't have to go anywhere after school today.

Saturday was good. We tried something a little different than usual. We worked for an hour cleaning up the house, then we took an hour break. Then we worked for an hour in the garage organizing the leftovers from our garage sale so I can hopefully get rid of it easier, then took an hour break. After lunch we went outside and worked for an hour raking leaves, then... well, you get the idea. Work, break, work, break. It actually worked very well for my kids. Since their work was interrupted by play time I got less attitude from them, and it worked well. Saturday seemed really long for me.

Then yesterday a lady at church that I really felt was a friend of mine dropped a bomb on me. She picked up her son from class and told me they would not be returning. She didn't want to talk about it, but they were leaving and not coming back. My jaw sort of dropped. I wanted to ask her why, I could tell she was hurt about something, but if someone tells you they don't want to talk about it, what are you to do? I'm not a pushy person, I am more than happy to listen if someone is willing to talk, but if they don't want to talk, then I'm not going to pressure them. It was the suddenness of it that really shocked me. There had not been any hinting to dissatisfaction, in all the times we talked, even looking back with hindsight I didn't see any hints to something boiling underneath the surface. For someone to just up and leave without talking about it is hard to accept.

And not to sound selfish, but she was the pre-school teacher. So we have one week to figure out what we're going to do. It looks right now like I'll be taking both classes. Thankfully we're small enough, I can do that, but if we get a visitor with little ones, I won't be able to do that on my own. You can't effectively teach six 9-11 year olds while trying to keep a couple babies happy while they're going through separation anxiety.

Anyhow, it just really brought me to my knees in praying that God will save this church. There's so much turmoil, and it really feels like we're under attack of the evil one. He despises churches that teach the word of God, and he's apparently not very happy with us right now.

I also spent a good amount of time on the phone yesterday with family in Arizona. My (husband's) grandpa's funeral service was Saturday. It was neat to hear of the people that came to pay their respects. The man that hired him back in 1950 something was there, along with old friends he worked with, and even his hearing aid guy came. The church has really surrounded my (husband's) grandma and has been bringing her food and checking on her. She has her sister with her, along with her sister in-law. So God has been good and answered/is answering prayers to surround her with love. I got to talk to her, and she's doing good given the circumstances. The church recorded the service and we'll be getting a cop of it. One of my father in-laws friends from his church made a picture slide show to celebrate his life. And my father in-law who is a worship leader sang a song for his dad. I know that had to be a hard thing for him to do.

Wow... I've rambled and rambled. I guess I'm making up for my relative quietness lately. I need to find the will power to actually do my household chores today. Cause tomorrow I'm going shopping for supplies for baby girl announcements and I want all my work done today so I can spend time creating tomorrow!!