Calling me again...

You know, sometimes I am just blown away by my Lord. I've been missing from here a few short days. Though I'm sure no one missed me, I'm going to share my heart anyway. It's weird, I don't know if it's because I'm human, because I'm a woman, or because I'm me, but my life seems to go in the same old cycle. A rich closeness with God, then some complacency. Then something comes my way to kick me back into my closeness with him. For the last almost month, I've been in that state of complacency. Yesterday he kicked me back into closeness with him, and I am so very thankful He never gives up on me. If I were him, I would have kicked me to the curb ages ago! But His love is never ending, never fading, always there for me. I am glad to say however that my bouts of complacency are getting less and less severe, so at least I'm learning something on the way.

Anyhow, a couple days ago a sister in the Lord called me, wanting some advice on dealing with family that is against her beliefs. Her husband had encouraged her to call me because he knows I've been there and dealt with that. Then yesterday I was chatting with a dear brother in Christ, and he told me that I was such a rock, he knows he could always count on me to point him in the right direction. And you know, I felt so convicted! I mean, on one hand it's great that those close to me know I will do my best to point them in the Lord's direction, but if these people knew what I struggle with they wouldn't be so quick to complement me. Then yesterday, I was getting bombarded by unclean thoughts. I mean things were just coming at me left and right, it was as if someone else was in my head. And I was convicted. I go to church Sunday Morning, Sunday Evening, and Tuesday nights. Other than those times, I'm ashamed to say my Bible has not been opened in the last month. No wonder I was suddenly susceptible to attacks, whether these thoughts were coming from my flesh, the world, or the evil one's henchmen, it really doesn't matter. All that matters is that they weren't from God, so they had no business being in my head!

On the way to church last night I had a compilation CD I was listening to. "My Jesus" by Todd Agnew came on, and I began bawling. I love this song, always have from the moment I first heard it. It reminded me of all my Lord has done for me, and how dare I forget that!

I don't know why I felt compelled to share this. Maybe just because of my natural want to share things, maybe someone is going to stumble across it when they come to see the cards I've submitted, I don't know. But really, it doesn't matter. At least I'm being obedient again. Now if I could just kill that stupid cycle!!